Paradox of Love
by EPICbrows
Summary: So what If the game was seen through Hope and Alyssa's eyes, and they were struggling with their feelings all the while
1. Chapter 1

A/N my first multi chapter ordeal. Its about Alyssa and Hope mainly it follows the game through their eyes not Noel and Serah's. enjoy

Chapter 1 The taking of innocence

When she started her mad mission to save her sister from a fate worse than death, Lightning had never meant to find companionship let or loan love but she had, as the memories gripped her she gave into them. Lightning had been travelling with Hope A while now and her feelings toward the boy had gone out of control, she wanted to hold him, hug him, and take away his pain at losing his mother. What she wanted was the chance to express with her body what her voice could not say, I wanted you and I love you. When they were apart briefly In Palapolum she was crazy with worry, what would he do, would he die, would he carry out his crazy plan to murder Snow? She hoped not the Goodness, the innocence, the Light in him is what she loved about the boy. When she finally saw him she didn't hesitate grabbing him she held him close and said "Hope I will protect you" he tried to console her back. his meek words made her want to laugh, he was blathering on about something the way he always did when he was nervous.

Meeting his father wasn't easy, when their eyes locked she knew in that moment he knew how she felt "Light can I talk to you in my room" Hope asked shyly, Lightning nodded, anything for him.

He sat on his bed, looking around nervously, as Light placed her self beside him "Um here" he said giving back her knife "revenge wasn't for me after all" he grinned his silly grin, Light gave in at that moment, grabbing his shoulders she lifted his chin and placed her lips lightly to his, she saw his eyes go wide in shock before closing and passionately returning her kiss. It was Hopes first kiss and it was like the rain or Sunday mornings under the duvet with a good book, faintly sweet and oh so nice. As lightning pulled away she blushed and said " sorry I could not resist" her heart was pounding the kiss wasn't enough so she leaned in again this time Hope met her half way, pulling him down onto the bed, it felt natural, it felt right, his hand coming up to cup her perfect breast, he knew this moment was where he belonged


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Hope is older now, and has just met Alyssa. enjoy

Chapter 2 new experiences

Hope awoke with a start and was aware his bed was wet, and he was very stiff. He was aware his bed smelled like moss, and there was a tapping like rain on the windows. It hardly rained in Palapolum he thought, as he opened his eyes. He wasn't in Palapolum, he wasn't in his bed either, he was on the floor of his tent except tents didn't have floors, he was in the grass and the tapping was someone knocking at his door. Groggily he pushed himself up and sat cross legged yawning "come in" a girl entered a pretty girl who blushed at the fact Hope was wearing no T-shirt, but remained professional all the same, "Director, the girl Alyssa you requested has arrived and would like a meeting with you" she bit back a smile at the fact he was grass stained and on the floor "thanks" Hope replied " tell her I will be 20mins"  
"Over sleep director?" she asked. Hope smiled "yeah it was a late night, your dismissed" She bowed and left the tent. Hope got up slowly, and washed away the tell tell grass stains on his face that he had been sleeping on the floor, grabbed his shirt and threw it on carelessly, strapping his Belts around his body. When he looked in the mirror it was a shock to find himself older than he thought, caught between memory and present.

On his way out he grabbed a cereal bar and took long stride along the Path that lead to the ruins, people ran up to him to give their reports  
"we excavated a new type of device director"

"ceith are appearing around the ruins at night"

"the paradox it strongest near the old Fal'cie"

" new Wolfs have been trained for protection"

Hope waved them all away he was already late for his first meeting with his new assistant, Alyssa Zaidelle, the one who had wrote a detailed report on the paradox effect on the Bresha Ruins, he knew she had brains and ambition and she would be ideal for his work. Running up the stairs he saw her " sorry im late" he said  
She laughed "Nice to see you again Hope"

"again?"

"yeah we met before a long time ago you don't remember do you?" she scrutinized him  
"hmm maybe I should call you Director, not Hope or Director Hope I like the sound of that" she waved her arms a lot when she spoke

Hope thought, but he could not call her face to his mind, had they met? Was she joking with him?

"uh yeah nice to meet you too Alyssa, I've heard good things about you" he said, looking down at the floor. She wasn't what he had expected, she was flouncy, carefree, sweet, joking, and perky Hope smiled to himself she was like Vaneille, and far from the strong woman who had pierced his dream like a shooting star, and lit him up.  
"so?" she asked " don't I need briefing?"

"How about a tour to show you our work?"

"Kay" she smiled and grabbed his arm " lead the way"

Hope was stunned, here was this girl who he had just met, leading him forward, he could not help it his automatic reaction was to push her away, bad things happened to the people he loved. she didn't look offended instead she flicked her hair and gestured forwards

Hope had lots of fun leading her around the Ruins, introducing her to significant people, she bounced when she walked, smiled all the time and was really inquisitive "what does that do Director?, Ohhhh wow look at the size of that Fal'cie! Was that really buried here?"

Hope laughed "yes we excavated it a few weeks ago along with a recording device, the device shows things that have not happened yet and images that should not be on there" he trailed off "It shows the future and what we believe to be the true time line"

"the true Time line" echoed Alyssa, she looked sad and impassive. Of course she still was not certain who had died that day In the purge nearly 7 years ago, her or her friend, she felt weightless like a puppet on strings "but of course you know all about that don't you?" asked Hope  
She nodded " its stated in your report, that you met two time travellers and they helped you" Hope continued

"yes Noel Kreiss and Sarah Farron, they defeated Atlas and dissipated the Paradox"

Sarah Farron, thought Hope. Lightnings younger sister, so she was going along the time line was she, trying to fix the true time line, bring her sister back he supposed.

He remembered that day, the day his dreams for the future were crushed under a boot. He had found lightings Knife at the base of the pillar, but something felt wrong, his memory felt wrong. As he handed it to Sarah the look in her eyes was disbelief she kept yelling " she was here just a moment ago, she blessed my marriage to snow"

Snow looked away doubt in his eyes at his loves words

"Sarah She is in the pillar"

"NO" Sarah cried as Snow held her, Hope turned away not wanting them to see his tears. They were flowing fast, at the age of 16 he had felt and lost love, and it was too much too take. his heart broke in half, and nothing had been able to stitch it up since, he threw himself into his work at the academy, climbed higher and tried to leave his past behind

Hopes face was Wet with tears, lost in memory he wiped his eyes and turned with a weak smile " I know Sarah Farron we met a long time ago" Alyssa looked dark "doesn't everyone know her, after all she started the Purge" she said with contempt "and now she walks free from crystal prison"

she was startled she forgot she wasn't alone "I'm sorry Director, I like Sarah she was really nice to me and helped me out a lot"

"sounds like her, come on we need to get working on unlocking the Oracle Drive"

" you know I bet we will meet her, again sometime soon"

"yeah" he walked forwards gesturing him to follower her


	3. Chapter 3

A/N I go y the real ages Enix first announced with FFXIII. So Hope would now be 25 at this point, just wanted to tell you that

Chapter 3 Unhappy Birthday

Things were gong well, a year and a half had passed and they had unlocked the secrets of the oracle drive, cleared out the ceith and even invented an electronic blast charge that could take out paradox effects. They had built cabins for the researchers to live in instead of tents. Hope and Alyssa had grown close in this time too, they had a lot in common, and the same sense of humour, which helped. Hope couldn't help but notice the delicate curve of her hip or the way her pert bum swayed when she walked or The way she flicked her fringe when she was frustrated or cried when she was happy. Yes they had grown very close in the year and a half that had passed

"Happy birthday director" Alyssa Smiled producing a single cake with a candle  
"25 huh your getting old, a quarter of a century"

Hope laughed " your 2 months older than me Lissa"  
"so?, I still look really good" she turned, Hopes eyes raked her perfect body  
"yes you do" he grinned mischievously

"Director" she blushed, She was cute when she blushed Hope thought  
"I'm gonna make you a nice Home cooked meal for your birthday, you eat too many cereal bars, you need some good cooking"

"Th-Thanks" he looked down "you always look out for me"

"duh because were friends right Director" Her eyes scanned his face, searching for something

"yeah we are" sighed Hope

Should I dress up Alyssa thought, Maybe not it would seem to obvious although she was trying to be a subtle as a flying brick when it came too him. He was a dense male though, It wouldn't be until she was naked in front of him he would even have the slightest clue about how she felt. That strong demeanour, his sweet smiling face, his brains, his confidences, his insecurities yes she felt far too strong toward her Director. A light tap, Oh gosh Oh gosh she thought she was in her underwear And Hope was here, he entered her Cabin, stumbled and immediately turned around "oh Etro im sorry, im really sorry, I didn't see anything I promise" he spluttered  
Alyssa Grabbed her dress pulling it over her, and walked around him smiling "Shame" she winked, and pushed him forward into a chair

"Hi my Names is Alyssa and I will be your waitress this evening, tonights specials include, grilled behemoth steaks, and for dessert" she paused thinking me " white moose"

"sounds good" Hope realised this was the first home cooked meal he had eaten since his mum had cooked for him, his dad had tried but he wasn't a cook so they ordered in a lot. He bit his lip, overwhelmed by the emotions threatening to over take him. Alyssa flounced out the door and re-appeared with the food, in hand "dinner is served Director" she caught sight of his face "Director? Hope? Is everything ok?"  
"I miss her so much" a single tear rolled down his cheek, as Alyssa set the food down she walked over to him. she brushed the hair off his face, and kissed his forehead " I know, Hope I really do"  
she took his face in her hands and looked right into his eyes willing him to see her, to know her heart. Hope whispered something it sounded like 'what If, what if she was not in there'. Alyssa's heart sank, so this was only half about his mother, the other half well was that woman.

"This is the oracle drive" Hope said "at the moment im the only one who can access it, im not sure why, but were working hard to rectify that fact"

"what does it show" Alyssa asked  
"I will show you" he touched the device and instantly images bloomed in the air, A woman a beautiful woman Alyssa thought, was fighting a battle, with grace and elegance. She turned "amazing just amazing" she said but her words had died away on her lips at the sight of Hopes face. He looked Broken, there was no other word for it, he looked as though someone had drilled a hole through his heart. Alyssa knew What was wrong, the way his body tensed "she was special to you wasn't she?"

Hopes head snapped up at the sound of her voice "yes" he whispered softly "she was my first and only love, We met as L'cie, her name was Lightning"

"Wait the Lightning from the stories?"

"yes" that was the last time they mentioned her, Hope didn't react too badly when he saw her image now, but it was still there, that hole that need filling

" the food is getting cold" she said standing up. All that effort of dressing up, making herself look nice and he didn't even notice her. Hope caught her arm "don't go, please" he whispered "I need you" she sat back down on his lap and let him hold her, as the night closed in on them.

It was the birthday from hell Hope groaned, here was his chance with Alyssa, and he messed up big time. He saw her in her in her underwear despite what he said, and her body was better than he had imagined. Why he thought, why did his mother come into his mind and worse than that, all the dreams he had once had. Watching Lightning raising their children, coming home to her cooking, her hugs and kisses, the rest of his life had been shattered now. Sure he had seen her in the Oracle drive a whole life time and dream away, he couldn't hold onto that forever, no he would allow his heart to move on and when, if he met her again he may even be able to find a new friendship with her. That was what he wanted now.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N this is where is gets more sexual, Im not good with smut but I tried

Chapter 4 Apologies

What did his dad say, flowers and chocolate solve anything when it comes to woman. So that was what Hope was doing. He had woken early and gone to pick some from the Massif, they were pretty and dainty like Alyssa. He loved to think of her as a precious, rare, lovely smelling flower that need to be preserved, but he couldn't tell her that, he had trouble expressing his true feelings but today he would try he had too. As he bounded back down the plain he looked everywhere for Alyssa, only to find her in her cabin, waiting for him. Hope looked sheepish "here" he stuttered "I got you flowers, you know to say I'm uh sorry for last night" he cleared his throat. Alyssa took the flowers and threw them to the ground, tears and anger in her eyes " I don't understand you Hope" she screamed "You act like you like me, then push me away, make up your mind Hope a memory or me because my heart cant handle this any more" her chest was heaving and she fell to the floor as she dissolved in tears. Hope knelt down lifted her chin and kissed her. She returned his kiss Timidly

As she ran her hands over, his chest, wanting to pull him closer, but she couldn't this was her first time and she didn't know if she was ready. Alyssa stopped  
"Hope do you want me?"  
Hope thought how to answer with out words he was afraid to say, grabbing her hand he put it over his crotch, answers on a postcard please. Alyssa rubbed gently sending electric shock through Hope, and all at once they were kissing passionately again, Alyssa trying to undress Hope with shaking hands, hesitating. He caught her hands and looked at her "Are you sure you want this?, its not too fast is it?"  
"I-i yeah I do bu-but its my first time" Alyssa stammered  
"we will take it slow" Hope promised, suddenly Alyssa wasn't scared any more, no she wanted this, it was right. She leaned in this time not hesitating, she knew what she had to do, a little clumsy she undid Hopes shirt, he was kissing her neck, as he pulled away, he pulled her top off and skilfully un hooked her bra. his lips moving back to her neck and down further and further, Alyssa moaned with pleasure, as he worked further and further down, pealing off her shorts. This new sensation gave her a shock, it was so pleasant she felt like a cog was winding tighter and tighter, in her about to break, with waves of pure pleasure, She moaned "Hope I want you in me now"  
Hope pulled of his jeans his whole body aching, he knelt in front of Alyssa gently stroking in-between her legs, to see if she was ready for him. As he pushed in slowly she froze, he was ready to pull out then sensing what he was about to do Alyssa held onto him "no don't I just need, need to get used to you" Hope nodded and pushed further, she grimaced again, he couldn't enjoy this if she wasn't "I'm sorry" she said still holding him, Hope laid there until Alyssa finally arched her hips upwards, and he slipped the whole way in, Alyssa's moaned and he retracted and moved forward again. They were moving together, touching the stars, and as they moved the world fell away.

Alyssa was beyond happy, she had done it, finally time to get rid of her V plates " I know its late Director but that was the other part of your present"  
" did you know I always found it sexy when you called me Director"  
" oh really 'Director'" she purred then laughed, being held by him was more than she could have hoped for, she smiled at the thought.  
"well I guess you know how I feel now" he was grinning all over his face

"I may have an inkling" she turned and kissed him feeling her heart would burst that moment in time.

"we had better get dressed" he said standing up "were late to start our research"  
As Hope looked at Alyssa, he saw the disappointment in her eyes " I suppose" she grumbled  
he could not help but laugh she was scowling, and she looked so damn cute. Hope walked over to her and prodded her stomach "we have later you know, In fact we have All the time in the world"

"all the time" echoed Alyssa sadly "well when you put it that way Director" she leapt out of bed and pulled on her shorts, Hope stared at her as he dressed, not even trying to hide it, she really was beautiful. He wished they didn't have to go back to their research. Hope wanted to stay with her here all day "Director your tie" Hope had forgotten it, Alyssa put it on him lightly pressing her lips to his, "there" she said "you look perfect" Hope held out his hand and she took it, as they walked out of her cabin.

Hope felt like a new calm had settled on his heart, it wasn't healed but It was getting there, as time passed with Alyssa he treasured every moment, because he knew it could all end in a blink of an eye. He still kept her at an arms length most of the time waiting for the moment she would walk away to never return, but she didn't and after a few months of bliss Hope started to let his guard down  
"Director, its late we should go to bed" she yawned her head on his shoulder  
"In a minute" Hope looked at her with glazed eyes "I have to finish this report on the anomalies and the danger of Mogs with spears"  
"what!" Alyssa laughed "Director" she punched his arm "you don't even know what your writing do you?"  
"I uhhhh Ummmm Yeah, yeah I do", its uh um, no not a clue"  
" You need to sleep sweetie, Come on"  
But as she stood up all of a sudden Images bloomed around them, Hope leapt up "the Oracle Drive"  
the new images showed another time as usual but something was wrong, it was where they were but an eclipse had occurred  
"wait that's Sarah, Sarah and Noel" Alyssa said with shock  
"and that is us saving them" Hope frowned "but this isn't where we are now it says 10AF, but no this could not happen in a few days this eclipse"  
"this must be a Paradox effect we are seeing and they have travelled to the wrong time line"  
Hope was startled, he saw himself meeting Sarah again. They talked and left through a time gate, but in an instant the thought and image was gone "What just happened?"  
"I think we nodded off Director it is late"  
"right then I think its time to sleep"  
but as Hope walked away though he couldn't get rid of the feeling he had to wait, wait for someone in the future.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Noel and Serah make a brief cameo then leave as per tradition. I prob should of mentioned this earlier but this is the real time line of yaschas 1XAF

Chapter 5 meetings

Things were hectic with the research, and Alyssa was getting to the clingy are we ever going to move forward stage of the relationship. Hope could not handle the paradoxes and her at the same time, his work was too important to give up, but he couldn't give up Alyssa either. When had his life got so busy, he barley had time to see anyone any more as he was working all the time. Hope allowed himself a smile, didn't he once accuse his dad of working too much, now he knew what it was like. Hope felt the overwhelming need to say sorry to him and picked up the phone "Director" Alyssa called "your needed t the dig site" Hope sighed I guess my apology will have to wait. "there you are, wow you look tired" she said giving his arm a little squeeze. "Alyssa what have I told you" Hope snapped "when were around the other researchers we are not together"  
"sorry" she mumbled, and stormed off. What was wrong with him lately, she was so snappy and short with her, She knew she was being more full on than usual but that was only because she had felt him slipping away from her. Hope stopped "Alyssa, I'm sorry I dint mean to snap you know I Love you right?"  
"I love you too" she replied but couldn't shake the feeling that something had shifted between them and not for the better.

It was the day Hope could feel it in his bones, he knew that he had to wait at his post and someone who he once knew would show up  
"who are you waiting for Director?" Alyssa asked  
"im, im not sure" he replied, just at that moment in time Sarah came walking across the plain. Hope blinked he couldn't believe his eyes, "Sarah" he called  
"Hope" she laughed "good to see you"  
"I cant believe its been 10 years" Hope said excitably "you look good Sarah" he realised he was hugging her hard "ahem" Alyssa cleared her throat "director I think this is who you were waiting for"  
"you know Hope this is the second time we have met this way now" smiled Sarah  
"really?"  
"yeah we met in the paradox I suppose you don't remember" Hope stayed quiet as she explained how they had not met that long ago, in the same time but effected by a paradox Noel and Sarah had travelled to fix this and now here they were.

"sound as though you have been busy" Hope said  
"nah it wasn't nothing" bragged Noel "just some anomalies and monster to fight" he grinned, he had taken an automatic like to Hope the first time he met him and now he got the chance to impress him again "we thank you then Noel" hope held out his hand and Noel shook it. Hope liked Noel too, He was kind, strong and fought to protect others, Hope couldn't help but think of him as the Male Lightning. "you want to see the oracle drive?" They had already seen it but they gathered eagerly. As the images showed Sarah Gasped "it is Lightning"  
"yes she is fighting a battle in some unknown location, but this proves she is alive Sarah"  
Sarah's eyes filled with tears " I knew it"  
"yes I wanted you to see this, I have working to bring her back, Not just lightning, But Vaneille, Fang" he hesitated "and my mum"  
Hope looked happy despite his confession, "but its impossible for me to change the past now, I'm going to work on a new future instead" he said it with confidence "Director" he heard a panicked voice behind him, Oh god Alyssa she is hurt he thought, but she was fine instead the Oracle drive was reacting in a way he couldn't imagine "wh-what is this" spluttered Noel "that's Caius and he is bringing down cocoon" he gasped,  
"a new prophecy" Sarah said. "wait wait cocoon is gonna fall" Alyssa was hysterical "when"  
"not for 500 years" Noel soothed  
"Oh" Alyssa visibly relaxed "well that's fine then we will all be gone"  
"we need to change it" Hope said with diligence "so people wont be affected even in our future Alyssa" he snapped  
"I'm sorry Hope" she mumbled  
Sarah and Noel felt awkward, they had clearly started something with these two and now they were arguing madly, words that hurt in full flow  
"Don't you care at All, How can you be so insensitive"  
"It wont affect us Hope"  
"yeah what about our children and all the people of the future it will affect them!"  
"But It wont directly affect us"  
" I don't believe you Alyssa, Were trying to get the true time line back in track, and this will help"  
"Yeah well maybe I don't want the time line fixed Director" she spat "maybe im happy how things are now"  
" I don't understand you at all"  
"you never did Hope you never did"

"and what's that supposed to mean?"  
"god your so wrapped up in saving your friends that you arnt even aware of the real me are you?"

"If this is the real you I don't like it"  
" I'm sorry I cant be your friends director" she said sarcastic  
" yeah well my friends would not of stood by and let the world get destroyed in the future!"  
Neither of them had Notice Sarah and Noel leave


	6. Chapter 6

A/N yep time has moved forward again, and things are going wrong. They are now in augusta tower briefly

Chapter 6 The projects and what's to come

Alyssa was researching late again when she found out. she still didn't know what to do or think. She knew she should not tell Hope her discovery, or anyone else for that matter, they would all study her and try to solve the thing causing her. She thought dimly what would Hope do? Would he still continue on his mad quest to restore the true time line, probably. There were tears dropping on her desk as she cried her pain numb and for the first time she was thankful she was alone. Soon they would be moving she thought starting to build and renovate Augusta tower. They needed her and Hope there for the project they were about to start. The project was Alyssa's idea indirectly she had come up with it after she had started to have dreams of a man, in a purple suit with luscious purple hair. She had seen him in the Oracle Drive and knew him to be Caius Ballad, and though she barley remembered dreams he visited her in she couldn't shake the feeling that this project was his. She also had a vague feeling it was going to go bad but it didn't stop her proposing it.

"I'm not sure Alyssa" replied Hope "didn't we try to get away from the Fal'cie?"  
"but Hope, it would be built and control by us we could keep it in check"  
"im not sure I will need to collaborate with the others Alyssa and ask their opinion" Hope said and walked off. He was still pushing her away, spending more and more time with the Oracle Drive.  
In the end Alyssa won her case, the other voted in favour of the Fal'cie project but only if Hope built it so it was decided.  
Alyssa pulled on her jeans for warmth. It was winter now, the days were cold, not as cold as Hope though she thought. He had been pushing her away since his dads sudden death last month and she didn't know how to reach him. Hope had lost all those he loved the most.

They had just arrived at Augusta Tower and the floor was steely and oddly enough it was warm here still  
"wow" breathed Alyssa "its so big and beautiful"  
"yeah I guess so" Hope sounded bored  
"Director what is wrong?" she asked it in a personal tone  
Alyssa I love you but my work is too important now to have a distraction, even distractions as lovely as you" he smiled  
"your breaking up with me" Alyssa was crying "for your job?"  
"Alyssa" Hope went to grabbed her hand "I'm sorry but its not fair to you. I can't spend too much time with you, im trying to build a Fal'cie for makers sake"  
"then don't build it" Alyssa cried "stay with me instead build a future with me please" she knew she sounded selfish but she didn't care "please Hope"  
" im sorry Alyssa I cant" Hope let go of her hand and turned his back to her tears.

Hope was tired, he had built the arms to the Fal'cie in record time but they needed tweaking. They were based on the data he had gathered on Anima,the first pulse Fal'cie he had seen. The one that brought his friends fates together, Him and Lightning together. No thought Hope sleepily don't think of Lightning, but without Alyssa a distraction he was thinking more and more of his first love. His hand was working of its own accord as he played with himself flying solo on memories of better days. Lightning On the floor of Gran Pulse screaming his name, blacking out with pleasure, Hope Increased the rubbing speed. Lightning nibbling his ear as she worked down to where his hand was now. Hope groaned his release and grabbed the tissues he always kept in his draw, he felt relaxed, but it wasn't enough he thought he needed more, getting greedy he went to work on himself again.

Alyssa was outside his room, she could hear him moaning Lightnings name, some how she doubted he was talking in his sleep. Not wanting to see this she walked by and looked over the balcony sighing. She knew Hope was regretting his decision but he still would not have her back, the sad thing was Alyssa thought she would take him back in an instant. "lost in thoughts my dear" came a voice. Alyssa gasped then relaxed "Caius" she said "I see your back, what if someone sees you?"  
"I'm just projection of your mind" he smiled his arrogant smile "how is the project fairing?"  
"Its progressing nicely it should be built in our lifetime"

"good" Caius smiled and lifted the girls chin "keep out of the directors way if you want to stay alive" and with that he was gone, Alyssa felt Hollow

"We are pulling the project" Hope said at the morning meeting, those shadows under his eyes are getting darker Alyssa thought "why" she Exclaimed along with the other researchers  
"because" Hope said calmly "of this" he pulled out the Oracle Drive, "do you carry that everywhere" Alyssa groaned she was fed up of the Drive by now  
Hope ignored her "it show images of the tower being over run by AI and our impending death" Hope said "There is also a recording of Sarah saying this is not the right path for us to take, that it will destroy lives" Hope didn't add the part where Sarah had yelled at him "we need a new path"  
"does it show anything else" Inquired a Researcher called Lloyd  
"yes it shows us an Ark that is being held up with unknown technology. I believe we should travel forward in time to find out what kind of technology"  
"How?" Lloyd posed the question

"We build a sort of capsule and elect one or two people to enter Cryo sleep for a few hundred years"

"that could work" they all mused "who would go forward?"  
"obviously Hope will have to be one of them, he is the brightest among us"  
"oh that's not true" Hope started to deny  
"I second the motion"  
"everyone who thinks Hope should travel forward raise your hand"  
Hope looked around flustered every hand was raised "then its unanimous Hope will travel forward. We know your mind will save the future Director"  
"thanks" Hope said blushing "but I want Alyssa to come with me" No one rejected his terms.

"why me Director?" Alyssa asked perplexed, they had barley spoke since their break up  
"because your the only one I would want to go with me" he flashed her a smile "its a simple as that"  
"Director" all at once she was kissing him, and he returned her kiss "I miss you she breathed"  
"I know Alyssa I miss you too"  
"but we cant be together can we?"  
"no" Hope said plainly. As he walked away, something about Alyssa was different that he was sure of it. He started to keep a closer eye on her, watching her she seemed to mumble to herself a lot. Things like 'its not my fault the cancelled it' and 'leave me alone'

Hope was working hard on his time capsule with Alyssa and one night he couldn't resist "Alyssa who are you talking to?"  
She looked startled, then composed herself "im muttering equations to keep my mind off grabbing you and kissing you actually" she replied. So she was going to play it that way was she "what if I want you to do that?" Hope answered "what if I want you to take me now?"  
Alyssa was stuck, she knew he was bluffing but still she grabbed him pressing her lips to his teasingly. Hope was playing a fools game he knew as he pulled Alyssa closer. She broke away "you cant mess with me like that" she wailed, her heart was beating fast  
"you kissed me" Hope reminded her

"at your invitation" she looked angry. Hope kissed her again, making her unfocussed and he knew it, he asked softly  
"so who were you talking to?"  
"screw you Hope" Alyssa said angrily  
"you wish"  
"i already have I don't want a repeat of your disastrous bed skill thanks"  
"I don't seem to remember you complaining as you came again and again"

"that was low Hope very low"  
"so was insulting my bed skills" they stared daggers at each other and all at once they were kissing again "Hope" sighed Alyssa as he pulled her close and held her "I love you"  
"I love you too Alyssa" he said as he held her and the night closed around them.

It wasn't enough it was never enough Hope thought. Him and Alyssa didn't have sex but just holding Light used to be enough why wasn't it enough with Lissa? Why?  
It was the day of their impending Cryo sleep "remember to leave note in case the machine breaks, and we wake up to early or not at all" Hope said  
"Director you built it im sure you will be fine" stared Lloyd  
"well I guess this is good bye then" Hope said sadly as he stepped into his 400year sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N they are dreaming in this chapter as the title does tell XD

Chapter 7 dreams

Hope was dreaming he knew it, the edges were blurred at first but became clearer with each moment. He was stood on a beach all alone looking around, he knew someone was supposed to be here. In that instant it came true, clad in armour was his Light effortlessly stunning and powerful. Hope ran to her she looked startled "Hope" she gasped "is it really you?"  
"I'm a little older now Light but yeah its me"  
Lightning grabbed him and pulled him close "I have missed you so much" she cried  
"I'm here now Light, I'm here"  
"Hope I wanted to tell you something, your doing the right thing now keep an the on the path you have chosen"  
is that all you wanted to tell me?" Hope teased "nothing else?"  
"apart from I love you? No" replied Lightning  
Hope smiled "I love you too Light forever and always"  
"even though you said you loved Alyssa too?"  
"Light please understand" he was crying suddenly "she meant something to me of course but she was never you, did you expect me to live my life single? Please forgive me Light"

" I already did Hope" she said pulling him into a kiss, running her hands over his body as he pulled her down onto him. "Hope" Lightning pushed herself up "we cant, I'm sorry" she looked sad  
"but Light" said Hope exasperated  
"no" she said firmly  
"fine you win" Hope was grinning, as they stood up. Suddenly Hope was being pulled down " I was joking" Lightning's mouth covered Hope's as they layed in the sand, entwined with each other as they kissed. Lightnings armour was hard to remove, and she laughed at Hope's attempts "I'm usually better at this" Hope said frustrated  
"I remember" Chuckled Lighting  
" I wish you had your old clothes" he said " or better yet no clothes at all" and all at once her clothes dissolved, oh this is my dream Hope thought I can control it to an extent "That's better" he said smiling as he removed his top "excuse me" Lighting said "that is my job" as she undid his trousers, planting her lips over his boner, Hope was breathing deep, as she worked down there "mmmmm Don't stop" Hope was moaning, lightning removed her mouth swallowing. Replacing it with her hand her mouth working his nipples. Lightning loved his new body so much she wanted to keep touching it forever he was hard still she knew, as he wrapped her arms around is neck, she straddled him, rocking back and forth moaning his name, Hope was playing with her breasts as she rocked, Hope was close "oh Light, Light" Hope groaned his release "welcome back Hope" Lightning said cuddling him.

"I joined the academy to save you, you know" Hope said proudly "I knew your weren't inside that pillar every time I visited Fang and Vainelle I couldn't feel you there"

They walked along the shore hand in hand basking in the joy of their reunion everything was at peace for the moment. Maybe in Hope's Valhalla nothing bad could happen but even still Lightning couldn't shake the feeling of unease. Caius seems to be busy too thought lightning Dimly, I wonder what is he up to?

Alyssa was dreaming too, she was having a nightmare. She and her friend were running from PSICOM soldiers, as they pursued them "Quick in here" Alyssa said pointing toward the Breasha Ruins. She was 16, scared miles and miles from home and her family, she was crying "shhhhh Its ok" whispered Nena "we will be ok we will pull through" Nena had always been mature for her age having to look after younger siblings. "I don't want to be here sitting still seems wrong" Alyssa stated "no we sit still and wait for the purge to end then we will-" at that moment the ruin collapsed and Alyssa felt weightless, was she dead? She rose up and found herself as normal stood in front of the grave, but this time she wasn't alone. Caius walked over to her, "i have been waiting for you" he said "you have been thinking of me so much"  
"wha-what do you wa-want with me" stammered Alyssa "yo-your plan failed please leave me be"  
"and let you disappear? I could not bare that" he smiled at her with his cocky smile. "I have a new plan" he said hair swaying but I need your full cooperation"  
"What if I want to disappear?" Alyssa said harshly regain herself "what do I have to live for? No one loves me, no one would miss me" tears were streaming down her face "what about the silver haired one?" Caius said knowing her response

"I don't care about him any more he prefers her to me always has, I wish he were dead" she spat  
"which brings me to my plan" Alyssa was intrigued what could he have up his sleeve

"what is your plan?" Alyssa asked  
"well well, I knew you would come around. First I need you to meet me when you wake up, I will give you a cursed artefact its for Noel and Sarah when they go through the time gate"  
"what will happen to them?" she asked uneasy  
"they will live in endless dreams, the life that they want to be true and perfect" Alyssa nodded it didn't sound so bad "and the next part?"  
Caius' lips curled into a smile "you assassinate Hope"  
Alyssa froze the slowly nodded "understood"

As they sat there watching the sunset Hope knew this moment was the only one he would have with Lighting, because soon he would wake up  
"Valhalla Isn't so bad you know Light" he smiled and grabbed her hand pulling her to face him.  
"Hope" she murmured"I have to tell you something" she looked distant. She couldn't do it, with him looking at her with those eyes, it made her feel unfocussed, and the air around her hazy, charged with electricity. Lightning pulled her hand out of his and strolled toward the waters edge, thinking. with her back to him she said "be wary of those closest to you Hope, some don't have your best interests at heart" tears were running down her face.

Hope stood and walked numbly towards her "you mean Alyssa don't you?" Lightning was crying now her body shook with tears, she had seen what was to come and how Hope was going to be murdered by the one he called his girlfriend. "Its OK" Hope said hugging her " I have known for a while, its why I kept her close" Lighting stepped back and looked at the man he had become, so different from the 16 year boy she had fallen for so long ago. Of course she had seen him, she had seen him at his most intimate and venerable moments here in Valhalla where she saw everything, but to see it in person was still a shock. He was so mature and sensible, far from the boy who plotted murder for revenge. "stop running" Hope said Firmly planting himself in front of her again and recapturing her hand, he pulled her close, wrapped his arm around her, and Kissed her passionately. Lighting gave in who would know when this paradise would end and her eternal fight would continue, but In that moment the their Valhalla fell away

"Director" said A soothing voice "Director Estheim welcome to the year 400AF"


	8. Chapter 8

A/N I will be writing more I promise but so far this is all I have, hope you enjoyed it so far

Chapter 8 Its harder than they thought

Hope stood on the balcony, Looking over the city he helped to create not really seeing it at all. Everything had fallen apart for him, he missed Light more than ever and the ache in his chest was just getting worse. Alyssa didn't help either, she was acting off he couldn't help but heed Lightning's warning . Even so looking at Alyssa made the guilt bubble too, he had loved her, he still loved her and what he had done in his dreams with Lightning well. Hope sighed "what am I even doing here" he whispered softly. Hopes heart was conflicted and he didn't know what to do to make it happy again.

"this is the 13th ark Mr. Estheim" said a researcher with avid eyes  
"its Hope. Mr. Estheim was my late father, in this time period im not anyone's boss were equals ok?"  
"but you were the best brain the academy has ever seen and-" a stern look from Hope stopped him "yes Mr. Est- Hope" he grinned "we need a Ore called a Graviton core to keep it afloat, but each one only lets out a certain amount of power unfortunately"  
"so to build a new shell for cocoon we would need" Hope mused looking at the size of the ark "about six maybe more" That was far too many "is there no other way?"  
"I'm afraid not Hope" the man replied looking sad  
"we need to gather data on theses cores then" Hope stated plainly "otherwise cocoon will fall and pulse will die" he stalked off his bad mood only half to do with the cores, Alyssa didn't show up for work again she had been avoiding him for days. When he had seen her she looked glittery, tired, pale and drawn. What was up with her he wondered as he walked out of the building into the fresh air  
"good morning Mr. Estheim" smiled a woman  
"Its Hope" she said tetchily  
"sorry I dint know" she looked upset "what are you up to?"  
"I'm going to go for a run I think"  
"there is a great park where everyone runs in the north square" she called as Hope took off

As Hope ran he tried to leave everything behind, all his fears, sadness and hopes he wanted it all to be gone. to be replaced with the weightless bounding of his feet, but try as he might thoughts still crept in as he pelted down the path, there wear tears streaming behind him. It the cold wind he thought that's the only reason why im crying, the only reason he denied and denied again until exhausted he collapsed on the grass, panting his eyes red and puffy. He was alone no one was here to witness his grief, his pain, as he stared into the sky.

Alyssa hadn't slept since waking up four days ago she was afraid to. Knowing that he would be lying in wait with more instructions. Everyone had welcomed them with open arms which helped ease the process but she felt unstable, she kept having panic attacks at random moments. She felt shaky and kept feeling like she was falling apart. parts of her day were going missing too and she was so tired, she needed to sleep "I need help" she sighed resting her head on her desk closing her eyes briefly. Caius was stood there a smirk on his lips, Alyssa gasped as she was shook awake "Ho-Hope?" she said sleepily as she looked up, standing there wasn't Hope but Caius in person himself  
"you have been avoiding me" he said with soothing tones "are you having doubts about the plan?"  
Alyssa shook her hear reflexively "no, I have just been busy that's all"  
"hmmm I wonder" pondered Caius pacing the office "you have looked busy" he said with a knowing smile "I-I" she didn't get much further "you commitment to this is needed My fair one, are you sure you ready?"  
"yes" Alyssa said sternly  
"good, here take this, Serah and Noel will arrive next week give this to them"  
"what is it?"  
"an artefact it will make all their dreams come true" he smirked  
That didn't sound to bad Alyssa thought the second part needs arranging though I have a contact"

he left a piece of paper and was gone, Alyssa sobbed as she read the address and name on the paper "I can do this" she knew Caius was trying to manipulate her but he didn't hold all the cards, she would curse Serah and Noel sure but Hope was going to be safe, she would find another way to keep him distracted from work. Somehow

"so your Mr. Estheim are you?" the man looked at him with steely grey eyes "My name is Director Tyson, I have been out on business for a few days, Its nice to meet you" he looked like he meant the exact opposite as he looked Hope up and down. Tyson had been in town for a day and In his absence everyone had become obsessed with this guy in front of him  
"Nice to meet you too" Hope said warmly holding out his hand, Tyson shook it with a firm grip.  
"this is Alyssa my collogue"  
"Nice to meet you Director"  
"I understand you travelled forward to 'save us all'" he said sarcastically as the last words left his mouth. Hope looked at him, their eyes locked "I want to save cocoon yes" they were standing off  
"well everyone seems to have faith in you" Tyson spat  
"everyone except you" shot back Hope  
"well excuse me, but I have been hearing rumours from the higher ups that they want you back as director" he looked ready to punch Hope

"woah I never asked for that, im here purely on a research project, im nit here to rule or command anyone" he backed away "the job is yours" Hope held up his hands with surrender  
"well its not up to you is it?"  
"if I turn it down then yes"

"they will fire me anyway" Tyson sneered  
"how is that my problem? I haven't asked anyone to call me Director, or for these fans" he said embarrassed as he though of the woman who had asked for his autograph earlier.  
"I will make it you problem" he said swinging at Hope, Hope dodged as the Governor came in on their argument  
"Director Tyson" he said shocked "is this how you treat you staff?"  
"n-no, he provoked me" stammered Tyson  
"no he didn't Hope was just saying how he didn't want your job" everyone stared at Alyssa's outburst they had forgotten she was there "he was being noble an-"  
"Alyssa cut it" Hope snapped and she fell silent.  
"what is going on here?" the governor asked with careful tones  
"Tyson feels my showing up threatens his job, but I don't want his job"  
"Tyson?"  
"im sorry" he muttered, looking down at the floor "i have no excuse for behaving the way I did"  
"your job is not in jeopardy as long as you don't keep hitting your staff" he said plainly and walked out.  
"well I uh am going too, Alyssa" she fell into step behind him as they walked off.

It didn't take long for people to start seeing Hope as the Director regardless of Tyson's constant protests. Hope always corrected them but they couldn't help but look up to him, to them he was the perfect leader. Hope was feeling more and more pressure as he advanced forward with his research, he barley slept, ate, his diet was mostly coffee and he felt like he was going no where still. The emptiness in his chest was back with a vengeance, he felt like he was falling apart more and more each day, the Future was harder than he had anticipated. "what's wrong with me?" he cried as he sat on his bed, he was attempting to sleep but just laid awake staring at the wall, giving up he got up and searched his room for something to do, keep his hands occupied. He found a pen and some paper

_Alyssa_, He wrote  
_I'm sorry but when we were asleep I did something im not proud of_

_I dreamed of lightning and we-  
_He sighed as he screwed it up and started again

_Alyssa  
I miss you wont you talk to me?  
I miss holding you I miss being with you  
you were so much more than a girlfriend_

_you were  
_Another letter screwed up on the floor

_Alyssa  
Please forgive me I need you im so mixed up _

_I just need you to know that I Alyssa I love you_

_I will always love you forget lightning she was nothing compared to you_

_she was she was  
_the pile was getting bigger with each failed attempt, he placed his head in his hands before writing one last letter

_Lightning,  
I love you and I miss you please come back I need you more than ever  
I want you to hold me and say everything will be ok  
I need you to take me away please lightning sooth the pain you have caused me_

_but you wont will you? You say you love me but how can you watch me fall too _

_pieces and not help? Is that love? In some ways I hate you Light after you I never stood_

_a chance its unfair, I will never be able to move on. you sit there and do nothing_

_just like always its nothing and that's all it will ever be_

As Hope finished tears were dripping on the paper smudging the ink, "I hate you" he screamed "you left me in this mess, and said nothing more than keep it up?" Hope kicked his chair in frustration, trashing his room, he slowed down "why cant I hate you?" he cried "why? You tell me to have faith well I don't Light I don't" He fell to the floor crying like he had just discovered how to do it, he cried for his mom, his dad, Alyssa, lightning, the future and himself he admitted it, he cried the pain away. feeling numb he finally stood up he was raw, he felt drained as he stumbled into bed for another sleepless night.

Alyssa wasn't asleep either she was pacing the streets to nowhere, looking toward the stars she felt a glowing in her chest. The last time I saw the stars this bright was a long time ago, in Hope's arms as he held her without a care in the world. She missed him as a friend more than anything their easy laughter their closeness, why had they crossed the path into the unknown? But looking at the stars she knew tomorrow she would talk to him, he would be happy and the world would somehow sort its self out. Alyssa smiled as she watched a piece of paper flutter down on the wind, the piece of paper that had once marked death for her friend, "im no ones pawn" she said aloud as she pulled out the artefact so she could throw it off too, but as she looked down it seemed stuck to her hand weighing her down after a few minutes she re-pocketed it and stalked off.


End file.
